I decided to drop the ruins summer project that I was doing mostly because I didn't have the necessery reference in order to complete it well. I have decided to change the project to the Jack the Ripper environment and character. This seemed to make alot more sense because of all the victorian buildings around leicester that I can simply replicate.
Surprisingly I have learnt alot these last few weeks but I really don't feel productive. I have learnt how to retopologise models in zbrush, how to extract areas of mesh and a great deal about work flow but yet I still feel realy down about where I am going with the projects. If I'm honest I find all of this technical computer stuff really difficult, especially when it comes to baking normal maps etc. I really don't feel I have the understanding for it and no matter how many times I try to get it right it just doesn't seem to get anywhere! Often I will look around and see my course mates making some amazing stuff and I just seem to be hitting brick walls on every turn. Although I know I shouldn't measure myself next to them but at the moment I just want to be able to keep up.
I have been trying to get better at small things at a time. My learning has been a bit all over the place but it reassures me being able to do new things.
I made this head from a simple base mesh that I made in max. I then learnt how to retopologise it and did it the best way I knew how. Del pointed me in the right direction of some more info so I'm very grateful.
I am going to try and get at least 3 buildings completely textured by the end of this coming week to give me an objective. I really want to get some portfolio work together soon so that I can feel positive about my work again.
On the up side, I have decided what I am going to do for my final major project and I have put it past the teachers to see what they think and they have given me the go ahead. That is what I really want to start more than anything... maybe there is a way for me to start that project. Many thanks to Debbie for helping me to come up with the idea.
3 comments:
Hey Si :)
I think this is all a part of being an artist, I think you'll find a fair amount of people even on our course alone have been through a stage where it seems like everything becomes a struggle.
You're not on your own, but only you can can rise to overcome it.
For me 'forcing it' doesn't work, and I have to 'gradually' build myself back up over a period of time, although I'm always tempted with the 'screw it I'm going to overcome this right now! and everything will be amazing' mentality... it rarely ever works in the long term.
You'll figure it out! :) and even though you might not see it as clearly, I can see your skills improving!
Si,
this is great that you're voicing your concerns because it gives us the opportunity to help give you perspective.
You're actually improving very fast and the only reason you're probably getting upset is because you just not around when everyone else is in their 'why is this so hard' phase. In my own time I often feel like that and then have small moments of happiness when i finish a model or learn a new skill. Learn to accept that this shit is just very hard to rush, and it comes only with patience. And know that you get to benefit from our struggles too, because you can just ask us things to see if we have figured out the solution. Also, Dan's mention of 'forcing it' can be so dangerous because you can end up not being happy with anything you do. Just be gentle and consistent with what you do and you wont burn yourself out. And relax. It's all about a state of mind :)
Thankyou guys, that really helps and its great to have the support of good friends :)
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